FemaleAustraliaMember since 29 Jul 16Last online 1 weeks ago

No melon = no lemon! Get it? Hehehe.
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Welcome! You can call me Pocky. Snacks are over there, the follow button is also over there, and I am over here if you would ever wish to chat!
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Ok let's be honest, there should be a Deathly Hallows symbol emoji. Just saying.
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YOU ARE PRECIOUS.

  • Pocky_Jr☕️
    This is a wild Pocky appearing on your wall.
    She has risen from the ashes to haunt this place until she goes to sleep. It’s 4:00 AM. She should probably go to sleep.
    Anyway, she remembers you.
    Muahahahaha HIIII

  • Pocky_Jr☕️
    1 Like
    Wow, I like this! The atmosphere is brilliantly done, and the attention to detail really does the job of giving a vivid depiction of the setting.

    A few things of note:
    I agree with the previous comments — watch the paragraphing a little.
    There are a few places where I’d recommend watching out for some added or removed comma usage Or breaking up of sentences also. For example:
    “Even more unbearable than the smell is the fact that the benches which once spilled with people are now unbelievably vacant and the wide gap between each student present adds on to the emptiness left behind by the recent past events.” (in this case, I would recommend breaking the sentence up a bit, whether that be with dashes or commas or whatever)
    I noticed that some words were repeated within the same sentence as well which I don’t like personally, but honestly that’s me being pedantic and it really doesn’t detract from the writing that much.

    Apart from that, for a rough piece and a step back into writing after a hiatus, this is very well done!
    Paint
    Paint
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    A short write-up I wrote for my creative writing class. I wrote something after a long time (a very long time), so it's pretty rough. I need to restart again and improve, so I am always open for CC!
    Mercury Chap
    2 months ago
    Thanks! You're right, I need to edit those parts, also work on breaking sentences
  • Pocky_Jr☕️

    mumbled "Just here with a mug of tea"

    Hi!

    I’m not dead.
    Totally haven’t been stalking all of my old Movellian friends for the last half hour xD
    Hope everyone is doing good! What’s been happening? I’m about to enter exam period, so the stress is hitting me a lil but ehh.
    So much has changed on here! They have... MESSAGES now? Wut? Hahahaha
    Ok, I’ll stop mumbling nonsense now but feel free to message me for insta / socials / catch up or whatever.
    Will probably mumble again in like six months or a year :P

    Laters!
    Pocky / Thanh
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